Christmas Memories: So Different

It was soon December once again. It was with apprehension that I approached Christmas Eve this time. It would be like none I had ever experienced. No overabundance of people, presents and food. I was also beginning to go through teen-age angst. Did anyone really love me? What is Christmas all about, anyway? I'm sure of it - no one loves me. Christmas is meaningless. Church is meaningless. All is vanity. As the day progressed, I set the table. No kids tables this year; we all fit around the dining room table just like every other day of the year. I wondered how my nieces and nephews were feeling, knowing they would be in their own small groups as well. After eating, we again gathered around the Christmas tree in the living room. I don't remember if Dad moved from his place at the dining room table to the living room. There certainly was room for him this year. Everything went okay and we had a good family time. Two things made it special: (1) Bob and Jim were still little enough to provide the child excitement; and (2) my big brother David was on leave from the Navy and was able to join us. David was my hero and I was so proud of him. Yes, Christmas this way turned out fine. Except that I felt a little empty and .... lonely. Little did I know at that time that the next Christmas would be very different.