As most of you know, I decided to fly to North Dakota to spend Mother's Day with my mom. I'm sure it was her last one. It was really good to see her again. I arrived in Devils Lake at 9:45 pm and decided to stop by the nursing home to see if the doors were still open. They were! So I surprised her in her room. Though I only stayed about 10 minutes, I'm sure it meant a lot to her.
The experience was both satisfying and distressing. Mom has refused to do anything that may prolong her life, including taking her "water pills". There is a huge amount of water retention in her body right now. Her feet look like footballs, her legs are huge, weeping fluid, and blistering. A lot of fluid has settled in her left arm. When I spoke with the nurse, she said she has pitting edema all the way up to above her waist. At this point her lungs are still clear, but the fluid will keep rising until she ends up with pulmonary edema. It bothers me that she is refusing any treatment for this, yet I understand her desire to not prolong life. There's got to be a better way to go! She has absolutely no mobility left and cannot even adjust herself in her chair anymore.
In the midst of this, her mind is still good. We played several games of rummy and she talked intelligently about everything. But she looks and sounds so terribly frail. She eats so little, her eyesight is deteriorating, and her hearing is atrocious (most of the time). It is often hard to understand her because her voice is just wearing out.
Though the trip was hard, I'm glad I went. The days go by so slowly for her. She looks forward to any activity that is out of the ordinary. Next weekend David's widow, Nancy and their daughter Jennifer with her two little ones will be there. Mom is so looking forward to seeing them. And there are several family members coming memorial day weekend. Personally, I don't really expect her to last much longer than that.
Remember to send her emails. She counts on that every day. Just be sure to increase the font to 16 or 18. You don't have to say much. Just hearing from you is enough.
Now don't you go telling Mom I put all this in my blog!! I'd be in trouble for sure!